Today while I was volunteering in our local elementary school I took a call. I was expecting the call from a friend that lives on the other side of the United States. She posted on my face book page a heads up. I had the entire day free except for the time that I spend in the two kindergarten classes. I just love the little tykes. I am proud to say I have been in Kindergarten for the past 5 years. I started the class when My oldest daughter enrolled and I just never did leave it. In face at one of the parent teacher meetings my daughters kindergarten teacher voiced one of the "pink flags" concerns that she had about our completely and utterly perfect little girl. This was not the first time that someone made a comment about my daughters speed of motion. My darling first born child dose everything in slow motion. Her teacher tells us that aafter snack time is story time and instead of coming to the story carpet like the rest of the children your child will stay at her table eating because she is not done yet BUT that's ok because it is not a disruption the the class. Sounding like much to do about nothing we dismiss the comment. This general comment paired with another comment about the excessive amout of time it took for our child to get used to the daily class room routing was still not enough to alarm us because she did finally take to the routine. It did however remind me of the nick name that her preschool teacher called her "Pokey Puppy". "So what" I though. That's just a part of her personality when she was in infant the pediatrician labeled her "content to starve", she was not an ideal size BUT she was following her own curve. It could have been that I breast feed her, its not HER it ME. I breast feed her because breast is best and I want the best for her. It is harder to suck from a breast then it is from the bottle and that's why she is not a huge fat baby. When she is full, she stops eating. That's not such a bad thing now is it?
The big bomb dropped in my lap when the first grade teacher utters the letter A.D.H.D. This crazy lady must be out of her ever loving mind, who dose she think she is talking about my baby like she is just some unimportant kid. How dare this overbearing stupid lady tell me something is wrong with my perfect baby girl. She is a teacher NOT a doctor. I can just see myself lunging over the table and scratching her ugly eye balls out of her rude face. Ill take my daughter to the doctor and Ill prove you wrong, my child is perfect! YOUR THE ONE WITH A PROBLEM!
No this is wrong, they are forcing me to put my baby on A.D.D. medication, she is already to thin, this is wrong, she is a zombie now, it is not helping, this is wrong i tell you, we have tried many Rx's at many different doses, she can not take a pill at her age, this is wrong. The Dr. wont remove the diagnoses, so now she is "untreated A.D.D. without H. ". I don't feel heard. I feel that I'm speaking a different language then the teachers and the doctor. Are they getting some sort of kick back from the drug company or something? what is the deal? I have to figure this out. It is so hard on the entire family. friends and family, teachers and doctors and other parents are coming at us from all directions with mostly unhelpfull advice and wagging fingers. FINE! I'm willing to consider that something may be "wrong" but it is not A.D.D. so figure out what it is for Gods sake.
Now it is my turn to give some "free unsolicited good advice" ( and you know what they say about free stuff...it is only worth what you paid for it). Put it on paper. that's my advice. I made an appointment with the doctor and when the nurse checked us into a room I gave the nurse a sheet of paper bullet pointing all of my child's issues. for what it is worth, it worked. The doctor and nurses looked at this paper as if it was a fun quiz to figure out. Just like the case studies in med school. I may not have learned their language but I did figure out a way to communicate effectively with them. My reward was a step in the right direction. We now had a referral with a paediatric developmental specialist. My beloved first born child has a mental processing disorder, and that my friends is a gift that keeps on giving.
Ok now as for the call that I took and returned to one of my dearest friends, Sara. Sara tells me that her daughters teacher called her. Their are come concerns about her daughter not staying on track and loosing her focus. Her daughter is coloring outside of the lines and wont pay attention. I listened to Sara as she pours her heart out to me. my heart bleeds for her because I know what is in store for her and her family. This is not just some kids that they are talking about she tells me, this is MY kids! with a understanding voice I say "I Know." After hearing Sara out on the phone for the next three hours I came to understand the stages of denial on my part when the teachers raised the flags of concern on my daughter. Though they were wrong about what the "problem" was they were right to flag her. All of a sudden the anger is gone and I'm grateful to them for bringing it to my attention. My daughter is ahead of the game today because after a good hard push I was willing to get my still perfect child the right help that she needed and still needs. This was by no means a fast journey, But is is better to arrive late as appose to not arriving at all.
Best of luck to all of you on your journey.